Master Your Boundaries

 The complaints I hear most often are:

 “He just ignores my boundaries.”

“He trespasses right over me and I just feel bullied.”

“I tell him to stop it, but he doesn’t even seem to hear me.”

“I even try yelling and he just says I should stop complaining all the time.”

“It feels like I’m invisible.”

Has this happened to you?

In my first marriage, I tried to tell my husband how to treat me better.

For instance, I’d ask him to please leave gas in the tank, and never leave my car with an empty tank.

I carefully explained how an empty tank can be dangerous for a woman if she gets stranded on the road.

It didn’t seem to matter how many times I told him.

He just didn’t seem to “get” it.

It made me feel ignored and unloved….and very, very frustrated!

Can you relate?

I have a friend who tells me she often feels disrespected by her teenage children.

They say negative, and...

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Did she ignore Red Flags?

 

It happened years ago, but it still haunts me.


It was my first year of college and I had rented an apartment with 3 other girls, near the University.
Our apartment faced the center of a quadrangle, overlooking a pool.


Late one evening, I was sitting by the window, gazing across the pool at the other apartments.
A young, college-age woman exited one of the apartments and headed along the sidewalk toward the parking lot.


She was crying.


I thought, “Oh dear, maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend.”
About 20 minutes later several young men exited the same apartment.
I thought that was strange, and wondered if there had been some kind of party.


The next day, I asked one of my neighbors if he knew what had happened.
He said, although he wasn’t there, he had heard they had “pulled a train.”
I was young and naïve and had no idea what that term meant.


When I found out, I was horrified, and very sad for the young woman.
I wish I had known, because I...

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Finding Yourself

personal growth self love Jul 30, 2021


Finding yourself,
is not really how it works.
You aren’t a ten-dollar bill
in last winter’s coat pocket.
You are also not lost.
Your true self is right there,
buried under cultural conditioning,
and other people’s opinions you took on as a kid
that became your beliefs about who you are.

Finding yourself
is actually, “Returning to yourself.”
An unlearning,
an excavation,
a remembering,
who you were,
before the world got it’s hands on you.

Author Unknown


These words truly touched me. It seems like, in my life, everyone I talk with these days is dismantling, unlearning or struggling with some aspect of “Returning to Themselves,” particularly in the context of relationships.

There was a time I didn’t believe I was capable of love.
I was isolated, lost and truly an unhappy person. I’ve been fortunate and blessed with the progress of my “returning to myself.” I have deep gratitude for the resulting love, light and joy in my life....

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Are You Creating the Life You Want?

personal growth self love Jul 25, 2021

I have always wanted to play the piano.

For me, watching someone sit down with any musical instrument; piano, saxophone, or even harmonica, and create music, is absolutely magical! I love music and listen to many different kinds, from classical to country and boogie-woogie.

When I was young, I had a few piano lessons, but the teacher seemed very annoyed with me, and regularly said, “can’t you hear that’s wrong?” Due to a lack of progress, my mother finally gave up on the lessons.

In middle school they tried to teach me violin. I was awful at it and the teacher quickly decided I was not a good match.

In high school I tried out for choir but couldn’t seem to hit the correct notes, so got disqualified. 

I became a bit traumatized about my musical ability…or lack of it.

Now, as an adult, many years later, I’ve learned that I actually don’t hear when the note is wrong. I actually hear very little difference between notes that are...

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The World Needs YOU!

self love May 09, 2020

I believe the world needs YOU!

The unique person you are.

Your history, your story, your strengths (and struggles), your personality, and your heart are necessary to build a better world. 

I'm sure you've heard it said that no two snowflakes are alike. It's true! 

There are billions of snowflakes, each is unique, and together they create a winter wonderland.

Think of a bouquet of a dozen roses.

If they are plastic roses, they all look the same...boring!

But when they are REAL roses, each one is slightly different.

It's the differences that make the bouquet interesting and attractive!

Mother nature creates an abundance of variety in everything she does.

No duplicates, no repeats. It's the diversity that captures our mind and heart. 

Let's celebrate your uniqueness!

Quit trying to be like anyone else, just to fit in!

Think of Barbara Streisand....specifically, her nose.

She was told many times that she should have it "fixed."

But instead of changing, so that she...

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