You Don't NEED a Man... But Maybe You Want One

dating personal growth May 22, 2022

You don’t NEED a man…but maybe, you might… want one?
You’ve worked hard and built a successful career.
You’ve created financial security.
You’re independent and self-sufficient.
And you did it on your own.
You certainly don’t need a man!

You’ve tried the relationship thing before, and it was a hot mess.
You’ve found it’s much easier to build a successful career,
than to create a satisfying and healthy relationship.
In fact, it was downright painful!
So, you had the good sense to walk away!

And yet, late at night,
after a TV dinner alone,
when there’s nothing on Netflix,
have you started to wonder…
“is that all there is?”

You’re tired of going to events, or even just out to dinner, alone.
You’re probably sick of people asking, “why isn’t a great catch like you married?”
It would be handy if you could find a good companion.
Someone to talk over the day with.

Continue Reading...

I Can Barely Believe It!

personal growth Feb 09, 2022

Life has brought us so many surprises!

I never could have predicted any of this!

A little over a year ago we moved from San Diego, where we’d lived for 10 years. 

San Diego was great!

It’s where we started building our coaching business.

While there we wrote a book that qualified as a best-seller on Amazon.

Every few weeks we held Meetups in our home.

We got to meet wonderful people face-to-face.

We got to coach clients and help them build happier relationships.

Speaking of relationships, we lived right across the street from one of our daughters and her two precious children.

We got to watch them grow up, take them to the beach, and treat them to Mr. Frostie ice cream cones.

Now, we are living in Utah, just 5 minutes from our other daughter, and near her two adult children.

It’s so great to connect with them, play board games, have family dinners, and watch football.

Due to the pandemic, we have continued building our business via Zoom.

We spent a lot of...

Continue Reading...

Always Be You

personal growth Dec 28, 2021

As a young teenager, I was excited to be old enough to attend dances. 

But, as I prepared to go to my first dance, I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious. 

When I told someone how nervous I felt, they responded by saying, “Just be yourself.” 

But I didn’t have a clue who “myself” was or how to be it.

What I didn’t realize was that I had a certain image in my mind of how/who I thought I should be.

Unconsciously I was always trying to look and act like that image (the actress Sandra Dee).

Unconsciously I measured myself against that perfect Hollywood image, and against any other women who seemed close to that ideal.

This caused me to be self-critical and uncomfortable with myself because I certainly didn’t measure up to that false idea of how I assumed everyone expected me to be.

Most of this was unconscious!!! 

I didn’t realize that the more I tried to be “perfect” the more I was disconnected with...

Continue Reading...

The Man Your Mom Warned You About

dating personal growth Dec 01, 2021

I’m seventy-five years old, still dealing with a demon or two from the past, but basically pretty well back on the rails these days. 

There was a time in my past however, when things were seriously out of balance. I was angry, focused on my own needs, and determined to get what I wanted, whether or not it was at someone else’s expense, and most frequently it was at a woman’s expense. 

Growing up at my house was a prolonged exercise in emotional abuse. It was a painful, long-term, mess. Leaving home, I was angry, I was emotionally isolated, and I trusted absolutely no-one. 

 The motivation to isolate myself emotionally was powered by the rage I carried. Honestly, I wasn’t even aware of the depth of my anger. (It was years later I realized my anger was actually a disguised expression of the grief I experienced over the love I wanted, but never got from my dad.) 

It was a deeply unhappy period in my life. 

Sex, human physical...

Continue Reading...

Did she ignore Red Flags?


It happened years ago, but it still haunts me.

It was my first year of college and I had rented an apartment with 3 other girls, near the University.
Our apartment faced the center of a quadrangle, overlooking a pool.

Late one evening, I was sitting by the window, gazing across the pool at the other apartments.
A young, college-age woman exited one of the apartments and headed along the sidewalk toward the parking lot.

She was crying.

I thought, “Oh dear, maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend.”
About 20 minutes later several young men exited the same apartment.
I thought that was strange, and wondered if there had been some kind of party.

The next day, I asked one of my neighbors if he knew what had happened.
He said, although he wasn’t there, he had heard they had “pulled a train.”
I was young and naïve and had no idea what that term meant.

When I found out, I was horrified, and very sad for the young woman.
I wish I had known, because I...

Continue Reading...

Relationships: The Tragic "Pandemic Effect"

 The almost 2-year pandemic has affected people in many different ways, causing a great deal of stress. Beyond sickness and death, the most widespread effect appears to be financial. This could be due to loss of income or jobs, not to mention unexpected medical expenses. 

In addition, for many people, including children, the wearing of masks is a constant reminder of the worrisome pandemic. With masks we are unable to see people’s faces, can’t read their expressions or respond to possible smiles. Also, social distancing has created a sense of disconnect from other people. It’s a form of loss, because as human beings, we all have a need for a feeling of connection to others. 

With the combination of these different forms of loss, the “Pandemic Effect” has increased the stress level for many people.

This means our homes may have become pressure cookers of pent-up stress. Closeted inside our homes, we have little opportunity for relief via...

Continue Reading...

She Pushed Me Off the Sidewalk!

personal growth Oct 07, 2021


I was in 4th grade, walking down the sidewalk toward the school cafeteria, when one of the “popular” girls walked by and pushed me off the sidewalk. 

That doesn’t seem like a big deal, right? 

But it was a big deal!

Because my unconscious mind created a limiting belief that I didn't fit in. 

And, since it was unconscious, I wasn’t even aware of it! 

Yet, I continued to find evidence to support my belief that I wasn’t good enough.

  • My clothes were homemade, not like the other kids with store bought clothes.
  • I heard about other kid’s birthday parties, and I was never invited.
  • I lacked self-esteem and didn’t know how to behave in social situations.
  • I had only one girlfriend at school. All the other kids seemed to have groups of friends.

As an adult, my unconscious decision that I didn't fit in, had a negative effect on my ability to build relationships with other women.

  • I felt uncomfortable and ill-at-ease.
  • I...
Continue Reading...

Want a Fresh Start? Release Your Past!

personal growth Aug 24, 2021

Looking for something fresh to get you out of the same-old routines?


Are you trying to think positive and find the silver lining this past year?


Maybe you’re determined to put it in positive terms, so you create a Reframe.


Our definition of a Reframe is: 

“when we consciously recognize and acknowledge negative thinking in ourselves, and then create positive options and solutions to counter the negative thinking.” 


That’s a good thing, right? 


Reframing is usually seen when someone displays a positive attitude as they face challenging times or a difficult situation. 


Conscious Reframes are a positive first step in dealing with personal challenges. These new positive thoughts are what most people consider to be an effective Mindset Shift.


However, as positive and well intentioned as they may be, the weakness in conscious reframes is that they don’t resolve the ...

Continue Reading...

Finding Yourself

personal growth self love Jul 30, 2021

Finding yourself,
is not really how it works.
You aren’t a ten-dollar bill
in last winter’s coat pocket.
You are also not lost.
Your true self is right there,
buried under cultural conditioning,
and other people’s opinions you took on as a kid
that became your beliefs about who you are.

Finding yourself
is actually, “Returning to yourself.”
An unlearning,
an excavation,
a remembering,
who you were,
before the world got it’s hands on you.

Author Unknown

These words truly touched me. It seems like, in my life, everyone I talk with these days is dismantling, unlearning or struggling with some aspect of “Returning to Themselves,” particularly in the context of relationships.

There was a time I didn’t believe I was capable of love.
I was isolated, lost and truly an unhappy person. I’ve been fortunate and blessed with the progress of my “returning to myself.” I have deep gratitude for the resulting love, light and joy in my life....

Continue Reading...

Are You Creating the Life You Want?

personal growth self love Jul 25, 2021

I have always wanted to play the piano.

For me, watching someone sit down with any musical instrument; piano, saxophone, or even harmonica, and create music, is absolutely magical! I love music and listen to many different kinds, from classical to country and boogie-woogie.

When I was young, I had a few piano lessons, but the teacher seemed very annoyed with me, and regularly said, “can’t you hear that’s wrong?” Due to a lack of progress, my mother finally gave up on the lessons.

In middle school they tried to teach me violin. I was awful at it and the teacher quickly decided I was not a good match.

In high school I tried out for choir but couldn’t seem to hit the correct notes, so got disqualified. 

I became a bit traumatized about my musical ability…or lack of it.

Now, as an adult, many years later, I’ve learned that I actually don’t hear when the note is wrong. I actually hear very little difference between notes that are...

Continue Reading...
1 2

50% Complete

Subscribe to our Relationship Master newsletter

To get more great information about building a loving and supportive relationship.