If You Spot It, You Got It

On a recent webinar, I said that when you see a quality you like (or don’t like) in someone, that same quality is also in you, to some degree.

Later a listener asked me, “what does that mean?”

I explained that we literally don’t see or recognize things unless they are already familiar to us.

For an easy example, when Dixon and I are watching TV, he notices all the cars, their models and often their years. 

That’s because he worked doing automobile restoration for over 30 years. 

Cars are familiar to him.

On the other hand, while watching the same TV show, I might not notice the cars, but I'm likely to say, "Did you see that lamp? That style lamp would look good in our house."

I saw it because interior design is a big part of my life. He didn't even see the lamp.

The cars and the lamp are both "surface" examples of recognizing what's familiar to us. 

It goes even deeper than this when we are recognizing qualities or characteristics in other people. 

It happens on an unconscious level.

Our unconscious mind is naturally drawn toward what is familiar, and it automatically avoids change.

It's why a woman who was abused as a child, is likely to get into abusive relationships.

Her unconscious mind recognizes the abusive energy, and since it feels familiar, her unconscious mind thinks it's safe. 

This happens even though she consciously wants to avoid abusive situations.

We can become conscious about recognizing qualities and characteristics in others.

We can learn to listen to our intuition when it gives us Red Flag signals.

Then we can use boundaries to make choices to move toward the people with qualities we like and away from those we don't.

For example, try this little exercise: think of a person you admire. 

I admire Katherine Hepburn.

Now think of 5 qualities that person has that you like.

Katherine was independent, career focused, elegant, athletic, and loved her man.

Whatever qualities you identify are already within you, to some degree.

I can choose to focus on the qualities I like and develop them more within myself.

Awareness of this simple process is one of the ways we help our clients along their personal growth path.

This process of recognizing yourself in others is sometimes called: Perception is Projection.

It can empower you to become more the person you want to be and live a more satisfying life.

We will be sharing many other powerful concepts in our upcoming

Relationship Masterclass

A five day workshop which starts August 29th. 

Replays will be sent automatically, so you can watch at a time convenient, or re-watch and take more notes. 

All of this great teaching, and yet... it's only $37.

Click here to save your spot!