When we really love ourselves

personal growth Apr 15, 2020

Frankly, I find the above quote really annoying, because, of course, everybody would love themselves...if they knew how!

So, why don't we know how?

Because, early in your childhood you received numerous messages that you weren't okay; not perfect enough, or well behaved, or good looking, or not smart, or whatever.

Back then you were too young to filter out the messages you received.

You didn't realize that your parents criticized you because they didn't feel perfect enough either. They didn't really love themselves enough, so they tried to fix it by "fixing" you.

But, it didn't work....you just felt imperfect, and therefore not lovable.

So now what are you supposed to do?

Go into therapy? Good grief, it takes forever, and costs a mint!

Speaking of money, a LOT of people are spending a LOT of money on cosmetic surgery, to try to be more lovable.

I even heard of a woman who is having her second toes shortened, so her feet will be more perfect. Yikes!

There's a lot of self-rejection going on there!  

I've heard that our number one fear is rejection (feeling unlovable.)

So what can you do?

I wish I could tell you there is a magic pill, or that spending a certain amount of money will heal you...but no,

in fact, learning to love yourself is a process that takes time and commitment. 

It's like everything else that's good...learning to cook delicious meals, learning to sail a boat, getting in shape at the gym.

All these things take focused energy...but they're worth it.

I'm here to tell you that you are worth the time, effort, and commitment, to learn to love yourself, and the good news is there are people who can help you. 

One of the keys is to overcome your shame about being imperfect. 

Brene' Brown writes excellent books about overcoming shame! She (and others) tell us the importance of becoming authentic; accepting ourselves as imperfect beings, and allowing others to see us as we truly are.

Have patience as you begin learning to be kind and compassionate with yourself. 

Expand your circle of supportive friends, and gradually distance yourself from those who are critical or judgmental. 

Learning to love yourself is worth all the effort, because as L'Oreal says, "you're worth it!"

I have to admit Louise Hay is right...everything does work better when we love ourselves!

You can include me in your circle of supportive friends....let's chat.

I'll help you get clear about steps you can take to love yourself.


To Your Relationship Mastery,

Angeline & Dixon 


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