The atmosphere at my house, growing up, can be accurately described as a total shitstorm. I was a sensitive kid and I lived for years with my father’s open dislike, criticism, and contempt for me.
Since leaving home at 18, I carried a deep mistrust for people. I was miserable. I spent 7 years in a residential drug program piecing fragments of my life together. After rehab, I was in weekly group therapy for eleven years. Much of my adult life has been focused on dealing with the pain and isolation in my life.
This morning, in a letter I wrote to my adult son, I talked about my marriage to Angeline and how I arrived in her life “running on empty.” My heart was pretty well boarded up. I didn’t believe I was capable of love.
Over time, in our conversations, during our thirty-year marriage, Angeline has continually highlighted the qualities and the good things she sees in me, her confidence in the good man that I am.
In my letter, I talked about Angeline’s loyalty and tenderness and the consistent safety she has provided in my life. I recalled how her recognition and love helped me finally bridge the persistent, dark mistrust I initially brought into our relationship. I truly connected with the powerful healing capacity of trust, and how life changed for me.
I’ve felt hope and promise. I saw, in myself, how my new level of trust opened and amplified the potential in our relationship. I experienced a mind-blowing expansion of what I thought love was. My doubts about my capacity to love were over.
I’ve learned that, built over time, piece-by-loving-little-piece, trust is an absolutely foundational pillar in a strong healthy relationship.
It has been in ours.
Join Angeline and me Saturday, July 16th for a FREE webinar on “Who, When, and How to TRUST.” Click Here to Join!